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Is it okay to be okay when others aren't?

A letter I’d send to my friends:


How are you? How are you bringing your best during these changing times? I’m a little overwhelmed by what I’m seeing happening in India, Italy, some other countries, refugee camps and right here in Australia.


Too much to fully comprehend for anyone. Yet I’m also seeing extraordinary compassion, inventiveness, creativity, and humour amongst the hardship; a measure of our resilience which I love.

I’m staying proactive. Focusing on what I can control and influence. Physically distancing from people and from the news.

In uncertain times, we discover who we are. Adversity magnifies us. I do my best to remember that my emotions are responding to my own perceptions, and not to what’s happening ‘out there’. It’s my perceptions I must manage first.

Three questions I do my best to answer each day...

1. Who am I being right now?

2. Am I doing what I can to contribute to kindness in the world?

3. Will I be proud of this moment when this is done?

Yesterday was an opportunity to share some of my thoughts on video on how JP and I navigate our relationship during this time, how I maintain productivity at home, what I consider important during changing times.

If I was to critique myself afterwards it’s that I’m too upbeat. I think I could be criticised for that. I’m actually experiencing self-consciousness and guilt that I feel okay, that I was prepared financially for such a crisis (I’ve had my wealth buckets in place for over ten years) and that JP and I are closer than ever during this.

I see how living in Oz, building businesses that do well in these times, and being healthy give me a level of privilege that most people in third world countries, and some Aussies, will not have.

And fuck, do I get that it’s mostly luck.

I didn’t choose to be Australian. I can’t say it’s anything but good fortune that my businesses are strong in times like these. I didn’t know that when JP and I married nearly 30 years ago he’d be the guy to lift in circumstances like this. The opposite could so easily have been true.

Good philosophical questions and stuff I’m thinking about (as well as a bunch of other thoughts)...

Is it okay to be okay when others aren’t? Isn’t that how it is every day of our lives for nearly every Aussie? We have a phenomenal health care system, a safety net for those who need the support, a level of safety and protection most people around the world can only dream about.

Is it okay to feel able to cope, and thrive, during tough times, when others can’t? (Again, this is true all year, it’s just in especially sharp focus right now).

Am I personally responsible for everyone who isn’t doing okay?

Am I ‘supposed’ to hide my okayness?