Mother Load Part II | Live Coaching Session | #Perspectives with Sharon Pearson
Three months ago, Sydney corporate recruiter Sasha Dumaresq bravely went public with something she had until then kept to her inner circle of friends and family: the knowledge she was struggling with the daily challenges of being a mum to three girls while smashing her corporate career.
Sasha has long been expert at the Tetris puzzle of making pressure, pace and people fit together, but when the birth of her third daughter made her a mum to three kids under four years, she found her super power stretched to its limits and sank into post natal depression.
"I had no connection really to my emotions—I was over functioning, controlling, very controlled,” Sasha says, admitting her need to present a perfect, I've Got This front to the world affected her relationship with her firstborn, who is now nine. (Her other girls are almost 8 and 5.)
"I shut my eldest down," she admits without hesitation. "I didn’t allow her emotions to be okay because I didn’t know emotions were okay."
Still carrying a mother lode of guilt and heavy feelings years on over feeling she didn't allow her eldest "to be who she is", Sasha—who started studying at The Coaching Institute in 2016 and is now a mindset and career transformation coach with her own business—volunteered to be coached one-on-one by me in what was a #Perspectives first.
The Mother Load episode worked two ways, with audiences getting to hear one woman's story of what is a far too common affliction for women, and experiencing how a professional coaching session works.
Now, after her first session was watched nearly 30,000 times by #Perspectives viewers, the amazing Sasha has stepped up again to reveal what happened with her daughter when the cameras stopped rolling and she put into action the strategies we came up with.
For anyone who hasn't caught the episode yet, we reframed how Sasha was reacting to her daughter's clap backs against being what her mother admits was controlling behaviour.
Now, in Mother Load Part II, Sasha says the reframe of "look how wonderfully my daughter's doing" has been"amazing" for their connection. They now share a special half hour at night when the youngest girls are in bed, where they cuddle on the sofa, reading, talking and meditating (yes—at nine! This girl is so much more evolved than I was at that age!)
"She was doing her emotions her way and I couldn’t reach those, and that reframe … really brought out her brilliance and that’s what I wasn’t seeing in her," she says, laughing about how she now deals with her daughter's feistiness.
“I’m loving it. Show me your spunk! I’m like, brilliant, go you, whereas in the past I might have seen that as a sign of disrespect or some other bullshit. She’s bringing more of her and that is exactly what I wanted from this, to bring more of her.
"It's her just being who she is without me needing to focus or change or put some sort of mask on her. It is just seeing her, and there has been some wonderful shifts.”