Air Date : 4th May 2019
What do you do when you have a life that's awesome on the surface but you still feel, hollow and unfulfilled? In this episode Sharon Pearson uncovers her raw and real story of where her personal-development journey all began and the steps she took to pull herself out of her hole.
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The Coddling of the American Mind - Book by Greg Lukianoff and Jonathan Haidt
The Tipping Point – Malcom Gladwell
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Elysium ‘Glam’ Nguyen: It’s wonderful we got to do this. You look fabulous by the way
Elysium ‘Glam’ Nguyen: It’s wonderful we got to do this. You look fabulous by the way
Sharon Pearson: Thank you, I appreciate that very much
G: I think we're live. I just saw a thumb somewhere. We’re live!
SP: We are
SP: Thank you. Oh my God.
G: So welcome to the Perspectives podcast by Sharon Pearson. This podcast is brought to you by Ultimate You Quest, and if you haven't already. Go ahead and subscribe now on whichever platform you're connecting with us on and share with us your thoughts your feedback what you're loving what you're discovering in the reviews and the comments. My name's Elysium, Sharon and people call me Glam and I'm here with the absolutely amazing Sharon Pierce.
SP: Say your surname, your whole name please for the record
G: Elysium Nguyen. I know it's awful.
SP: It's lovely.
G: And I'm this tragic
SP: Your name almost is Princess it's fabulous.
G: Well I’m here with the absolutely amazing Sharon Pearson
SP: Thank you.
G: And she is an entrepreneur an author is speaker and a total super woman who has been on a journey of discovering that she too can be human and flawed and just fucking fabulous? Are we allowed to swear?
SP: We just did. Let's see what happens. We will.
G: And you've inspired so many other people women and men and you know all the wonderful colours in between and myself to know that and we can all be flawed and fucking fabulous at the same time.
SP: At the same time, it’s a requirement. You can't get rid of one or the other you’re stuck with both.
G: So Sharon it's so wonderful that we finally get to do that.
SP: We do after planning it for a year.
G: For years I know you've had so many people in the community who've been wanting this platform, this opportunity, this community, this way of coming together to share our perspectives.
SP: I'm hoping one day very soon we get to have a member of our community sitting there and we do this as completely unprepared unrehearsed. They asked me a question. It could be coaching mentoring whatever and any of the fields I have a view not necessarily expertise but I'll have a view. I get to bring bring the real to them in the way that seems to delight our close knit communities and really resonates. That's one of my hopes that we get to shake it up. What a podcast looks like? There's not just me interviewing people interviewing people but we get to get really down and in-depth about what it is for the human experience human frailty human strength human triumph human. All of it and get to maybe share some perspectives. Yeah it's picked up on the cameras beautiful shares and perspectives from what I've learned to what I'm experiencing or what I'm coaching around how that human experience can be lightened how they can be more wellbeing how we can experience a better quality of life maybe alleviate some of the drama and the pain we give to ourselves we don't know how to get out of the autumn automatic into living consciously which is obviously what a lot of our movements now about.
G: And it's a wonderful message in your book.
SP: Yeah yeah I've just been reading it we're sitting in if anyone's wondering where we are if you've got the audio I'll describe the scene we have a grand piano that's simply a prop there's nowhere I know what to do with it. Except complain about the dust and we're in the studio because I'm recording ultimate you for the United State or for the world release of the audible and the audio book.
G: I'm so looking forward to the book coming out. And if you want to get in on it and preorder it it's literally a transformational book. I think John Ashcroft said it was life changing so the link is included in the show notes for you.
It will all be in the show notes for you. If you didn't quite catch that. We've got a wonderful Ange say out there.
SP: Thank you.
G: Yeah. With her thumbs up, making a note of all of this for you. So I love what you mentioned before around creating that space for a conversation about the human faculties and the human experience and it feels like this less and less forum and places these days where people can be human. And I think that's one of the really wonderful missions behind perspectives and the kind of conversations we can get to have on perspectives
SP: I listen to a lot of podcasts and I am verging on alarmed about how many voices are being shut down or criticized if they don't toe the politically correct and by political weight. I mean the ideology of the times message I was in Sam Harris for example. Jordan Peterson a lot of those guys from the international intellectual dark web and it's interesting. I'm watching them be the pioneers of copping the criticism whilst they go bravely in the direction of their ideas and my ideas different to theirs. They're offering operating on a global level in terms of politics and culture and society and sociology and I love that. Mine's much more personal message. So I really appreciate the frames they create. But what I dig is getting into more of the nitty gritty with the individual and figuring out what what's making that person tick and what's causing them the pain or the drama or the discomfort or the disconnect. And how can what can we do to remove that? And it could be through any number of frames. But he is the thing that I'm finding there's less and less frames that are acceptable. So there's less and less frames that seem to be acceptable that don't get a criticism. So the frame has to have now certain qualities about in certain characteristics for it to pass muster and not get shamed or criticized or the worst found in a basic frame is this one of my favourite frames is to extend good faith to someone. So in philosophy there is a basic frame about good faith that whatever someone's doing even though it looks a little freaky or we could read it badly if we extend to them good faith and assume we didn't understand or there's more to understand or we need to see it a little differently. We will have a meeting of the minds we might not agree but at least we can trust that we're operating from good faith now.
That only works if the other person is also coming from good faith. So and in that space if both are coming from good faith anything is possible. The moment one person in this doesn't come from good faith in the message and the narrative gets manipulated and twisted into something it was never intended to be. And so I want to create a space where good faith is extended to anyone who's part of it that good faith is extended to our listeners good faith is extended to us doing this good faith is extended from our listeners to ask in good faith is it. And if we have that which we have in our community and when I build the business you know it was built on good faith. So the whole business began with me and Joe Pane a few years ago sitting down. It was done a little before that but it really took off and Joe and I hooked up we sat on the veranda knew nothing about business. But we did have a conversation about good faith before we knew it was a thing. And we said well I said if I have your back and you have my back will always be okay. But the moment one of us has our own back and doesn't have the back of the other. That means two people have that person's back and one person's left in the cold. And we've worked on that model as you know because I've had the same chat would I do the same show with everybody who's in the inner circle. Man if we ever look away or blink from good faith if we ever don't fight for the other person's right to express their right to explore the greatness is within them the potentials within them. If we don't fight for their right to misspeak and make mistakes and be klutzy and sound ridiculous if we don't fight for all of that and create a space for those completely safe we don't create space. There's no forum there is no discussion there is no room for bravery there's no room for vulnerability intimacy compassion courage expression learning it's all shut down. So the first rule of all discourse has to be come from good faith.
SP: And I see it being fought for in some wonderful podcasts I'm listening with connection with I read I'm reading this amazing book right now by Jonathan Haidt and another author [Greg Lukianoff]. We'll put this in the show notes saying the correct authors the coddling of America I'm reading and it's about this lack of extinction of good faith how there is an assumption of worst intent or I'm going to take the worst meaning of what you said. So I can feel victimized
G: and blow it up.
SP: And so I get a of my victimology and I get a short of my role that you're the perpetrator. And as long as you operate in a mould where someone's a victim such as the perpetrator is about power you've lost you've got gotta operate from the place that it's community and his discourse in good faith has to be. It's the fertilizer it's the water the sun it's everything. So that's what I'm shooting for and I can clearly overambitious with this and we could end up dive volume into the ocean. Well that was a bad idea. We're starting out with that parade.That's the flag we're waving
SP: This idea of good intent even where we misspeak or go too far because here's the thing. If you don't go too far with an idea you don't know far enough is how many years have I said that to our coaches?
SP: Sixteen years I've been saying they say oh I don't know I don't go too far I don't offend the client or I don't want the client to be known lot like me you don't know too far and so you've practiced going too far. So we're going to practice going too far in public. Whole other standard but unless you push the boundaries you don't know what the boundaries are until you hit the idea or the blind spot.
That's contrary to yours. Do you get what I'm saying? If I if I don't if I don't push the idea all the way out to so and say well hang on what about this or all the way out to you didn't see this or all the way out to. You've ignored this. I don't have a good idea. So the idea of a good idea becomes good when it's tested with contrary views. Yes because the country view teaches me to have a better idea or to give it up. So with the frame it becomes about everyone's got to kind of silently agree to that. E