#PERSPECTIVES EPISODE 5 | Do You Dare To Get To Know You



Self-awareness is the basis to having a healthy relationship with your reality. Join Sharon Pearson and Joe Pane, a master coach and world-class trainer, as they dive into self-awareness and how to measure whether we are seeing our reality accurately and how it affects our relationships.



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Elysium “Glam” Nguyen: Good morning! Welcome to the Perspectives podcast with Sharon Pearson. Thank you so much for being part of history with us today. This is the first time we’re recording the perspectives podcast with a live audience. And we have some of the most amazing coaches at TCI here in the room – you guys are fucking awesome! We're going to use this opportunity to deep dive and unpack the mind and the coaching strategies and the frames of one of the world's best coach She’s helped transform thousands and touch millions of lives around the world. She's the author of Ultimate You she is the founder of the coaching institute. She's the creator of Meta Dynamics. What else is she? She's the creator of Disruptive Leadership.

Crowd: Absolutely mind glowingly amazing.

Crowd: Ultimate Influence

Crowd: You’re Ultimate Self

Crowd: Ultimate Wealth

Crowd: Ultimate Speaker

G: She is joined by Joe Pane a complete human behaviour expert. An incredible coach and absolute leadership here in a show Australiasia. And together they're going to be unpacking what it means to be an incredible coach what it means to serve what it means to deep dive into some of the best coaching strategies and brains and methodologies in the world. Will you help me welcome Joe Pane and Sharon Pearson!

Sharon Pearson: This woman is amazing! If we can live up to that introduction! Good morning.

Joe Pane: Good morning. Good morning everyone.

SP: Thank you so much for joining us. Thank you. So let's dive in. We're going to look at we'll take it away.

JP: Yes.So we have a deeper look into the.It was beautiful. Take a look into frames and look at coaching. I go to Sharon. Let's begin the conversation a little broader about coaching and then diving into the show was different frame. So on a basic fundamental level I know there's people watching this and perhaps I know a lot about coaching as well. Is it? How would you define what we do in terms of the interventions and coaching the interface of coaching itself

SP: to life? I think it's I think it's simply one of the many methodologies of techniques or strategies are available to us to help us become all we could be.

JP: Yes.

SP: In so many frames and pathways to achieving it. Coaching is simply one of them that we can build into our lives. Here you go.

JP: Thank you. Thank you. Cheers. Cheers.

SP: Cheers. That can help us become our true potential however we may define that on the day if the coach is fantastic. They're going to have us see a different viewpoint of what our ultimate self should be. So I potential should get reframed through the coaching experience become bigger better grander or different.

JP: Yes. Love it. Beautiful definition. They also use the word frame which we've been discussing.

SP: How would you describe it?

JP: To me? Coaching is actually what my division coach use helping someone feel like love themselves.

SP: I love them and see how different frames

JP: Get different frames and when they did the former differences in them I'm gonna give the listeners I love them.

SP: So for you it's fall in love with yourself so we're going to create different. We're going to track different clients. Yeah we're going to have different experiences in the coaching session we're going to notice different aspects of the client in front of us. We're going to pull out different aspects and think they worthy of discussion because we have different frames on coaching.

JP: Yes. Which I think is also a reflection on different friends that we have around the philosophy of living. There's obviously overlaps and all that we all bring our own perspective and philosophy. I also think coaching is is a healing modality so. And of course you know we've got many people in the room we can say that this from 50 different definitions of healing. And to me healing is about reconnecting to what's always been there within ourselves.

SP: See my frame is it's restoring.

JP: Yes

SP: that's the language I use in my mind. So if language creates reality which I believe it does. Our language creates different reality. So for me I'm helping the client restore this and this language is so bad. I haven't which I better language yet. I'm working on it next book. I believe I'm helping clients restore back to factory settings and then decide what who they want to become like it's erasing what has harmed her limited and validated undermined stressed traumatized? It's helping them get back to if that hadn't happened or if that had happened and it was now an experience that was incorporate into it really I don't know a positive way an empowering way you'd be restored. And now what you want to do with your life because I think too many people are making based on what you said about healing too many people are making decisions about what they want to do with their lives and who they want to be with based on not being healed or restored and their decisions are trying to compensate for what they think is missing in them. So I think I've got to help people get what they think is missing that wish.That's conversation you and I were having yesterday. How do you restore what you think out they can give you pause that they can't give it to you if you can't give it to you if you cannot get it?

JP: Yes that's a good overlap. Because we both go after the backgrounds of experience different things.

SP: How much do we geek out on this?

JP: So we were having lunch last week and

SP: Almost went to dinner

JP: I had swimming lessons for my son. That's why I had to leave

SP: we were just rolling into dinner maybe the nightclub, there was a nightclub!

JP: Yes I think so. But what I loved is that God we spoke about so many things we spoke about also the different backgrounds I actually believe that our backgrounds regardless of how great they’ve been or how horrendous they've been or how dark they've been how light they've been all the different rise of backgrounds. I think that when we all come together in this coaching space it gives us also an opportunity to press the reset button where we can redefine language put meaning to that history that that history can become useful to us in how we live our life now. And we actually coach and I just I and I say this because I know that because of your experiences you know throughout your personal history of living as a woman and as a human being and the family situation and my family situation all very very different. And I think because the history the past is a gift that contributes to who you become now and 2019. That's what's produced the body of work the youth which I still say to you is the most important body will give it will produce the ultimate what if it wasn't for that history and wouldn't be you wouldn't have the sensitivity the compassion the patience in bringing that all together. Whereas my background is very very different in the sense that I've been just bloody fortunate and lucky and probably over overprotected and the rest of it. So I come if this is the person's what the person's become you are coming from this side which is what a heal all this over here to get to this war zone coming from this other side saying well what we want has always been there. Now to discover it and re connect with it somehow. So it's kind of like

SP: we were having these discussions at lunch and I was trying to get into a can I can I should. I was trying to get Joe I was asking Joe a question about the book he's writing and I wasn't saying the frame the way you saw the frame. That's really what it was. Frame is a point of reference or how you see the world a frame is how do you model or represent the world to yourself in a way that makes sense to you? Most people are very jumbled frames. Well they have Jim huge generalizations that they think will confuse their overlapping plus huge generalizations and one thing means many things too many things that they need to narrow down their frames to something that's manageable and makes sense and is functional and helpful and makes them forward. Most people don't do what I say most don't do that. So we were discussing your book and I won't say what it's about that's for you to say but there was a point where you said something else I don't I don't agree. My frame on that is you need to recover this if then you restated your solution according to your frame.

JP: Yeah.

SP: I think at that point I went out and. I said you’re hearing your from your frame Joe you're not hearing my frame listen again and try to get my frame and then you got my frame and net opened up speak out and talk about how it might help your friend.

JP: Yes

SP: But to get to the stage in a relationship where you can have when you I told you guys all the time about the relationships you have obviously Joe is one of my inner circle. Joe's the guy that says I'm that friend when you need to bury the body at midnight call me that's who we are.

JP: So far you haven’t needed me

SP: I hope that disclaimer wasn't necessary. This is so Sharon's level of demand on the friendship just went up. She's testing a couple hypotheses so encouraging the ideas to have we have their relationship the idea in coaching is to teach people how to have that level of relationship where it's not just about my opinions different to your opinion which is just pointless and wouldn't have moved us anywhere vs. We have an idea that sits here neutrally and here he had his idea and I had mine. Let's look at the two ideas to do that. Helpfully we've got to be willing to see that idea as being different to my own. Be okay with that. So ego goes out the window so that's really healthy. And it's also going to be healthy enough that the egos are the way not when one of the friends as I did say No, you're not hearing my frame.

JP: No.

SP: Like I said it twice you're not hearing my frame you're hearing your frame. Coaching is meant to have that level of honesty and then we've got to teach our clients to have that in their life because that's emotional intimacy. What's that's one vision or aspect of lens of emotional injury there's many others to it but if you can&#x