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#PERSPECTIVES | Reclaiming Your Core Self

Join Sharon live In New York as part of her world tour, as she talks about reclaiming our core selves. None of us are born with negative self-talk, limiting beliefs, or any of the other mental and emotional issues that plague us as adults. We are born at one with our surroundings and our selves. The goal of coaching, the TCI way, is to return to this state.


0.23 At our core is who we are meant to be and who we were when we were born

· There’s spontaneity, warmth, pure emotion. No censorship, no thought, no permission

· We were the world, we were the universe. Everything was a reflection of us because we didn’t know awareness except through others

· The goal in coaching our way is to get back to that

· But you’ve got to get through the crud

· The negative self-talk, the darkness, the limiting beliefs, the low self-esteem, the fears, the shame

· A kid under 5 sees no difference between themselves and the world around them

· Then we start hearing the word no

· We here you can’t, you don’t, you shouldn’t, I can’t believe you did that

· Because we’re young, and there’s no difference between us and the world, everything we hear is true

· We have no way of defending our selves from it, if it’s said by a magical big person, it’s the truth

· And we internalize it

· This is the work that we will do, to undo that internalization and that conditioning

6.05 The journey in coaching is to get through the crud and get back to the core

· So who has some crud to work through?

· Audience member: I have a fear of public speaking due to being laughed at at a young age

· Sharon: So can I ask you a question? Who is your best self?

· AM: I love people, I see good in everyone, I’m here for a purpose, and I need to help others, and I have to put my fear aside

· Sharon: Your best self already has put her fear aside. She’s looking pretty amazing to me, she has passion, she has purpose, she makes a difference. Tell me more about her

· AM: I want to be a great example for my children

· Sharon: Your best self is a great example

· AM: Yes, I am a great example for my family, I’m a great coach, I have self-confidence, and I’m a great speaker!

· Sharon: You're amazing, you just met the truth, and boy was she ready to come out! That’s not always the case.

10.17 Audience member shares about working through her frustration with her son’s reaction to her coaching

14.25 Audience member shares about her shame about her emotions stemming from a parent’s lack of vulnerability

16.31 Sharon: So this model, to me, has been a lifeline for me

· Most of us as children were never allowed to emote fully to completion

· We would start an emotion, and it would be interrupted by a big person

· Don’t pull that face around me young man, knock that off, big boys don’t cry, if you’re going to cry go to you’re room

· An emotion interrupted as a child is what we link shame to

· Then instead of feeling that emotion properly, we feel shame