Join Sharon as she delivers her keynote talk at the ICG Annual Coaching Summit. She dives into a BRAND NEW model and theory of coaching, where the industry is headed and the standards we're bringing to it. Tune in at 22 mins to discover her new theory of coaching.
Sharon Pearson: Hey I'm Sharon Pearson and I really want to thank you firstly so much for joining me on the perspectives journey and your feedback is so appreciated.
I'm so pleased that you're digging it. Please send in any questions you have about topics around different human perspectives that you'd love me to chat about. Coming up in this perspectives episode we have something a little different for you and I'm looking forward to sharing it with you at different times throughout the year I am fortunate enough and privileged enough to be able to present live in one of our training rooms here at the Coaching Institute Campus which means I'm in front of a studio of people wonderful coaches people who are interested in coaching methodologies who are simply passionate about being their very best selves and we have cameras everywhere.
It's one of the perks of having this beautiful campus and all the technology and the phenomenal team we have says cameras everywhere we capture it. We thought what better give to bring you today in this perspectives episode was a snippet from one of those trainings where I dive deep into an expert to human behaviour that I believe will really give you phenomenal value so you get to see me live.
It'll be either an online recording or it could be me live in front of an audience. Either way it's going to be an aspect of how we can rock out at this thing called life in a way that has deep meaning for ourselves because that's what this is all about. It's your perspective on a phenomenal life. So enjoy the show you may find a different time so I mentioned different things that aren't on camera. Use your imagination to fill in the gaps. Mostly however the narrative will unfold in a way that will make sense and I trust you get great value from. I look forward to your feedback and I hope if this goes well we get to bring you more shows from live events that we do here at the campus here in Melbourne Australia.
Good morning everybody. How are you? Wow. Throwing things at me from the audience is a, four stars. Glam is the sound coming through okay. Wonderful. So thank you for coming.
I think it's why hello it's so great that you're here. How wonderful are you getting value from it? Yes well I mean next to you you have 300 people here. So good start Matt and I we're just saying it should be 300 people we should have some booze out there and rotating and workshops in different rooms. What do you think? And who’s seeing perhaps they may be delivering one of those workshops. Yeah don’t you think Matt should be having little workshops going brainstorming things like that? I think it’ll be wonderful.
So I'm here today to have a chat about what is most valuable to you. There are a couple of things I'd like to slot in there as well. Firstly in 2020 we're moving the school TCI more towards evidence base. You guys have heard about that. So it's old news to you. Yeah you’re all over it.
Audience: Yesterday’s news
S: Yesterday's news that's almost old.
So we're going to start incorporating into it positive psychology CBT cognitive behavioural therapy what else solution based coaching strengths based coaching family therapy coaching yes there's a lot coming next year now.
It's great isn't it? So by the end of next year Matt and I are anticipating that the assessments will be upgraded and incorporating all of this as well. So it’ll become a benchmark. So we want the whole school to have that. Which means I’m going to take over advanced skills so I can start teaching what I’ve been studying? So that's the reason I want to move into advanced skills who's going to be joining me in advanced skills. Okay good. So I won’t be alone which would be weird. I'm. Going to run it twice next year and after that just annually and with the goal that Matt's going to want to be involved with that as well. He's doing lots of work in the same area.
So in advanced skills we're going to start introducing strengths based coaching solution based coaching positive psychology and coaching just a whole bunch of stuff that's going to flip the lid on how you approach coaching because I know we've done stacks of work in emotional world stacks of work in the quest work and now I want to make sure it's we will make sure it's really balanced. So both messages are there because we think they're both important to coaching. How does that sound. Good good good. I'm really pleased.
Are they ready for the other announcement Matt Glam Matt Glam Matt? Matt. Glat? I don’t do that. No not glat the bit about the other things that are. Shall I say anything about the.
The Meta Two, the Meta Two. Do I?
So we're also moving towards evidence more evidence based in Meta Two as well. So for those of you in pro coach the what you get and some you're getting Meta Two to separately we're going to move those five days to become more. It's already evidence based because the Meta profile is evidence based but there's other things we can teach you in there as well. So that's going to become radically different over the next two years the next one will probably remain reasonably consistent but we're looking to upgrade that as well. How does that sound.
Yeah. So we're just really wanting to. And then you’ll see the changes online as well. Now that's going to take at least three years. This is thousands of barrels of content needing to be reviewed. We've had some people post online they're interested in your researches we haven't got their CVs yet but I hope when get them and we can start finding a team of people to work with me Matt and glam and start making the whole thing evidence based. I'm not reviewing all that material solo and if I did it’d be a 10 year project so I need help. So asking me when it's going happen. Just ask me how many researches I've got. Does that make sense? Because it really is beholden on us getting people around us who are willing to do the research and understand what research methodology means and then can summarize the research and explain how our content links to research.
So that's coming which will be great. Yeah I know it's fantastic. It's a lot of work. So if you know good researchers you're prepared send a CV please let them know that we would love to have a conversation and because we need a team it's not can't just be me and one assistant waiting for me to tell them what to do. It needs to be a go getter who understands they’re going to take practitioner and map at all across to the research in all those fields not just one field. So it's not just evidence based coaching also positive psychology CBT family therapy and so it goes in so many fields you can draw I was listening to a podcast this morning which did my head in and I'm not going to include this in the research base we're moving towards but um time and space is no longer considered in physics the basis of our experience.
I'm going home to lie down I know what you're doing but. So you know we always say time and space is the basis of reality. Well and physicists have well physicists have you might know better than them but physicists have. And now the latest out of physics and maths so not philosophy and not Deepak Chopra having a view that sounds very quanty but the science is saying that time and space is not reality. I will not be including that in your assessment.
So apparently it's simply a representation of a deeper reality. Well everyone’s saying yes like you know what that means the physicist is saying they don't know what it means I'm telling and no one in this building knows what that means.
We can't the greatest minds in the world don't. They're only just starting to breach what that could mean not what we feel not what we sense not what we meditate you get what I’m saying the science and that's blowing my mind that is blowing my mind. What that means and what that means is the observer and what we think we're observing and how we can never observe someone else's consciousness and what does that say to coaching.
I can't possibly coach you I can encourage the representation of you and even my representation of you is flawed from the beginning because I believe you exist in that space right now.
Currently you don't. I'm. Just going to lay down. It's going to be laying down.
[Gestures to head] Voovoom voovoom voovoom. It's too early to drink. That's what they're telling me. It's never too early for drugs. I'm going to manage my way through this.
So there's fun stuff like that to consider when we're coaching who were being present to are we being present to ourselves or are we being present to the client but we're never present to the client because the client just shifted who they are just then so we’re never actually. And we've just changed just then so we are never being present to each other. We're only present to effect simile of each other.
Now if that doesn't do your head in it should. If you think it's not you're not being smart enough about it. Do you get that if you're being relaxed about like yeah sure, uh uh, that means you're not giving it enough thought because it's worthy your of thought. That means when you're with someone the way you think you're perceiving them is already wrong.
Now can we lay down?
A: Yes yes
S: Now now now, and I find that really I've got a lot of tea now. Because I perceive to in this time and space does that mean.
So this stuff should make us uncomfortable. I listen to Sam Harris a lot who here listens to Sam Harris. Well you should and he's just done a podcast which nobody is going to understand. Like they're already saying no one's understanding a word they’re saying. They’re understanding the “thes” and the “ands” but everything else is and their names we believe we understand their names but he's just literally put out a podcast with one of most eminent physicists in the world talking about this and saying with great humility we don't understand this. So we are all going to be on the page if that's okay with you.
We don't understand this because the greatest minds can't buy what I can glean out of it is I should really question who I think I'm speaking with not question them. Question who I think I'm speaking with. And if I do that then I got to start thinking about how I think about it and if I'm going to think about how I think about it then I got to think about how I think about thinking about it.
There's a logic to what I'm saying there is great humility on what I'm saying because it's not enough to think I don't know who I'm speaking with because your realities change you change you know now what are you going to do with that is not interesting just to say who I speak I'm speaking with just changed and who I think you are just change in how I know who I am in seeing you just change therefore we're never seeing each other. Good to know. It's a magic trick. What do you do about it in a coaching session? How do you translate that into something you can operationalise? How do you turn it into an action or sequence of actions?
But given there's no time it's not a sequence. Now the other thing that challenge is cause and effect.
Okay. Soluble aspirin right now. They’re questioning cause and effect because you question time there's no cause then effect.
I know yeah I know it's but we don't know what to replace it with yet. So the argument is it's the simplest way to represent what apparently is going on. No one understands yet so we don't understand it. But it's not cause and effect. It's simply a web of experiences that have already occurred. How do you operationalise that in coaching now?
I don't have the answers but I reckon it's worth pondering questions. What do you think? Yeah.
A: I'm just wondering if in establishing a rapport with the client I'm just wondering if establishing a rapport with the client and having a deep intimate connection somehow transcends the unreal world.
S: Okay. So what they say about that and they literally talk about two people's consciousness they're saying that your consciousness next to my consciousness which neither is a compact neither of us can perceive. So they estimate we perceive one percent of our consciousness so the one percent of my consciousness I think and tell myself kid myself and pretend I'm aware of along with your 1 percent that you pretend you think you're aware of that somehow translates into a new consciousness.
I'd agree with it that up to that point. It’s the one percent that somehow interacts and forms something new
A: Should we be worried too much about this if what we do works.
S: No, should be worried about, I never suggested worrying. I would never say worry I say a true playful delight and adventure and I don't know what to do with it yet mate. That's the fun.
A: I love the adventure
S: But I love the adventure. There’s never a worry. It's simply so if my 1 percent showed up this way and your 1 percent showed this way. Firstly we're already incredibly inaccurate already incredibly inaccurate which is why I have so much trouble with social media and when someone bags out someone because they made a mistake. So we're bagging out our 1 percent that we're aware of thinks we can judge their 1 percent.
They just did where they made a mistake and that does not sum up the 99 percent. They're not even aware of but it sided with they’re a bad person.
That's where I think we should worry because the way it's been weaponised and that to me is a worry. But in terms of us coaching I think it's pure delight wonder and adventure and it's a wonderful dance and to think that I'm in any way coaching you is hilarious. And for you to believe I'm coaching you fall down laughing and that to me is the adventure because we're not.
It's not a coaching relationship with each other. It's simply those two 1 percents got together and somehow formed a different version of the 2 percent. That's all that's happened. But the other 99 percent hasn't. Hasn't changed.
A: and yet it works.
S: And yet it works and it's enough
A: It is enough.
S: So yes I love your thought again. I would. The worry is when we use this to weaponise against others and that's one thing I won't have at TCI in our communities as you guys know. The one thing I'm fierce about and will never apologize for moderating out groups the way Teash does. The way our team does because the moment it's used to weaponized judge belittle or think that someone can't make a mistake and still be human and wonderful is to deny 99 percent of what we're not even being aware of. So. Well we’re not aware of 100 percent of that person. I think I'm aware of your 1 percent but I'm just telling myself that.
A: So am I
S: So maybe I'm just coaching myself. I'm going to need something stronger.
Thank you. It's really interesting discussion. The reason I think these kinds of discussions are worthy of coaches is because one of the things I want to teach you guys next year is existential coaching which is what I've also been getting trained in and this is an existential conversation. It is literally discussing what is this and does this matter and if it matters what the fuck do you do with it. Now that is the heart of wonderful coaching on any day. So I think more of these discussions are important and make us more well-rounded coaches.
And then I'll go further and I'll come to you and then I'll say I don't think we can coach existentially like what is the meaning of life the universe and everything. If we're not taking that journey ourselves. So to have this discussion is very important to. You can't sit passively by and have a conversation about the meaning of life and the meaning of what's the point of my existence.
If you're not willing to have the discussion and then say you're trained in that type of coaching you're not because it's definitely my. I've got to put under a microscope my 1 percent. And to ask you to do that. Does that make sense. So it's very much a discussion that's worthy of having. Yeah
So when we're talking about judging the 1 percent and your 1 percent. Yeah my 1% percent I’m gonna judge that 1 percent. Hilarious already. Yeah. So where does that leave you when you are talking about the people around you that are good for you and bad for you.
Well there's good for me and there’s bad for me and it doesn't have to be judgment. There's a difference between judgement in judgement. Well isn't there. I can judge someone because I've decided they're bad and boo. But I can show good judgment.
S: And say yeah it ain't working for me right now where my one percent showing up right now. That's not probably going to be a good match. So there’s judgment in judgment. Does that make sense. I'm talking about where the worry is is where it's used as judgment to point a finger and not remember there are three people pointing right back. It's that what I'm talking about to show good sense to make good decision is completely separate is what I'm discussing. Yeah it's cool. We now have two definitions minimum of judgment in this time and space.
A: Which doesn't exist.
S: Which doesn’t exist. Did yesterday. It was fine. 10:00 this morning I had time and space. Now I've got nothing.