by Remi Pearson
For many years I lived day to day, rolling with what came along, reacting to the events of the day, busy tending to whatever happened. Years passed this way; an aimlessness that I was unaware I was caught in.
I learned about goals, began to set them and go about achieving them, and because of this became less reactive to my day and more proactive. A day could become more rewarding. More satisfying. A little more meaningful.
Then I learned about values and began to consciously choose what values I needed to have to help me attain my goals. Values such as courage, drive, persistence, and growth formed the focus on my day. As I strove to achieve goals, I brought these values to life with determination. My results improved even more.
And so did the quality of my life. I discovered that goals alone weren’t enough. They drove me to be too focused on “getting” or “not getting”. It was too “win” “lose” for me. Making decisions about how to achieve my goals in a way that is aligned with my values definitely added a dimension of depth that had been missing. I became a better person. More well-rounded, I think. Less about the “win” and more about how I got there.
Over the last ten years or so I’ve been exploring another dimension to my life. This is the dimension under the surface, invisible to all but me but more significant than my goals and my values.
This dimension sits within me. It’s a consciousness I attempt to bring to most moments. An awareness of myself that goes beyond mindfulness. I call this dimension My Truth. It has come about by studying attachment theory, Internal Family Systems Theory, Buddhism, and by noticing me and how I show up.
With mindfulness, we are asked to be attentive to this moment. To fully focus on here and now, bringing our attention and energy to it. To let go of the past and the future and sit with what is present right now. We can go beyond simple awareness and guide ourselves toward the Buddhist practice of acceptance and surrender to this moment. We can be mindful in a way that invites us to accept fully this moment without resistance and allow it to be fully expressed.
With My Truth, I am inviting myself to be present to the moment in the most compassionate way possible for me. This isn’t always easy for me. I can be judgemental of myself, see the flaws of my struggles, resist what is and try to control the moment. Letting the moment be as it is can often morph into “I will get this how I want it. I’ll surrender later.”
Because I can make something so simple so challenging for myself, I find myself consistently needing to come back to the practice of being present, accepting, and embracing. Over and over and over and…
I was thinking about how I approach this (or avoid this) one morning and realised for me, much of what happens in the day within me is shaped by how I start my day. Where I am within me when I start my day tends to come along for the ride throughout the day. A random start to the day can have random consequences later in the afternoon. Connections can become less deep. Moments can flit past without my attention. I can get lost in distractions that have nothing to do with my goals and my values. I can find myself justifying doing